Motherless Daughters & Motherless Mothers
15-24% of adults ages 25-34 have lost one or both parents.
I am a motherless daughter and a motherless mother. You can read more about my story under the About Me section.
I am a Certified Provider for Mother Loss: A Grief Training Program with Hope Edelman and Claire Bidwell Smith, who have shared their own stories of mother loss via books, podcasts, and other avenues. I understand personally and professionally the impact losing a parent can have on one’s life.
My goal is to provide a place for you to feel seen in your grief and to understand your grief journey better. The grief field has shifted greatly from one of breaking bonds with our loved ones who have died to one of continuing connection and understanding grief lasts a lifetime.
I am here to support you regardless of when your loss occurred.
Motherless Mothers
Losing a parent shapes the parent you become. Not having one or both parents impacts how one raises their children, from parenting decisions to the relationship with in-laws. Allison Gilbert describes this kind of loss as irreplaceable. This is connected to lost traditions and family heritage information, to lack of information about one’s own development and upbringing, to lack of emotional and physical support often provided by grandparents.
Transitioning from a motherless/ fatherless child to a parentless parent, especially for motherless mothers, often brings up grief all over again. Some may worry about dying young. Others may experience a resurgence in grief particularly around their first pregnancy. Some may experience a lack of confidence as a parent, especially about raising children past the age they were when their parent died.
You most certainly have the capacity to be an attentive, empathic, and nurturing parent to your child. However, if you find yourself feeling alone in your experience compared to other parents (or parent-to-be’s) around you, I invite you to reach out to see how therapy may be helpful.
Other Parent Loss
If you have lost a parent, but don’t identify as a motherless daughter, please feel free to reach out to me for support as well. This may include, but is not limited to, fatherless fathers, motherless fathers, fatherless daughters, etc.
Watching other parents have the support of their parent is painful. Watching them help plan the baby shower, come over in the early postpartum days to visit and pass on their knowledge, and be a presence in their grandchild’s life can feel lonely and unfair. It’s a loss that many don’t see. It’s a loss that feels invisible.
“When a daughter loses a mother, the intervals between grief responses lengthen over time, but her longing never disappears. It always hovers at the edge of her awareness, prepared to surface at any time, in any place, in the least expected ways.”
— Hope Edelman
Interested in connecting with others who identify as motherless daughters or motherless mothers?
If you have experienced a loss like this and are interested in gathering as a group with others with a similar loss, please contact me to express your interest.